Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Are the seasons in Ireland different from those in Scotland, England, and Wales? Or are they just milder versions of each other?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can count

Do guys prefer big boobs or small boobs? Why?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I actually pay taxes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are the legal obligations of a new homeowner if the previous owner leaves furniture in the house after moving out?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Skyrim fans baffled after finding huge gold hoard we’ve never seen before - GAMINGbible

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why do I sweat (mostly on face) when I eat usually spicy food?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

Any straight men had a gay experience in the past? What was it and how did you feel?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do guys look up TikTok girls instead of porn? My boyfriend of two years, looks up big boobs on TikTok. He has never once cheated on me, not on social media or IRL. He claims it’s to “get off real quick if I’m not home.”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I see through liars

Why didn't my ex fight for our relationship? He gave up so easily.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do people think Mirko is boring in My Hero Academia?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Is Gupta Nilayam season 1 of Raghul Vasudevan completed? Can he compile and send all Episodes at once as a long story?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

“A.I. Cracks the Black Hole Code”: Astronomers Use Artificial Intelligence to Reveal Hidden Forces at the Heart of the Universe - Rude Baguette

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight